Seven Pillars of Wisdom/Epilogue
|Book X. The House is Perfected|| Seven Pillars of Wisdom
written by Thomas Edward Lawrence
Damascus had not seemed a sheath for my sword, when I landed in Arabia: but its capture disclosed the exhaustion of my main springs of action. the strongest motive throughout had been a personal one, not mentioned here, but present to me, I think, every hour of these two years. Active pains and joys might fling up, like towers, among my days: but, refluent as air, this hidden urge re-formed, to be the persisting element of life, till near the end. It was dead, before we reached damascus.
Next in force had been a pugnacious wish to win the war: yoked to the conviction that without Arab help England could not pay the price of winning its Turkish sector. When Damascus fell, the eastern war--probably the whole war--drew to an end.
Then I was moved by curiosity. 'super flumina babylonis', read as a boy, had left me longing to feel myself the node of a national movement. We took Damascus, and I feared. more than three arbitrary days would have quickened in me a root of authority.
There remained historical ambition, insubstantial as a motive by itself. I had dreamed, at the city school in Oxford, of hustling into form, while I lived, the new Asia which time was inexorably bringing upon us. Mecca was to lead to Damascus; Damascus to Anatolia, and afterwards to Bagdad; and then there was Yemen. Fantasies, these will seem, to such as are able to call my beginning an ordinary effort.